The biscuits before the end of days

Dear Biscuiteers,

I cannot apologize enough for the absence of biscuiting news in the days and weeks past but only hope you can accept this bumper posting in return - packed to the tin brim with biscuits from across the globe. Yum.

Last week, we were lucky enough to have a packet of Brooklyn biccies brought to our humble hands by an intrepid biscuit traveller. These were baked in the House of Whimsy and Spice and combined the delights of coconut and spice. Fine treats they were too, and all the more fine for their origin and our distance from NY. You could almost taste the time difference.

And so to biscuit burgers of un-defined origin (though Japan is a probability). They were micro and cutesy and had an undertone of sesame and dairy-free chocolate. On the novelty side they were obviously a winner, but no real contender for the British biscuit community of tea-dunkers. British biscuits for British workers, I say.

Oh and we had some ANZ treats. Tim Tams which some readers may know. A close relative of the British Penguin but more sophisticated in our minds. There is a challenge involving these and sucking tea through them: a Tim Tam Slam. Apparently in 2004, a world-record was attempted at Walkabout's across the UK. I feel personally aggrieved for these poor biscuits, being swept into such dank and dreadful surroundings. Walkabout's are good for nothing but £1.50 double vodka red bulls. We aim to do our own slam in the coming days, in the clean and light surroundings of an office. Watch this space.

We also had a bout of healthy non-wheatie biscuits. These were on the whole tasty though their sourcer complained they were too obviously packed with sugar, with sugar grains perceptible in every bite. Not an ideal biscuit experience.

Wheelie-ones-of-no-relation

Turkish treats, turkish jelly. Chocco discs of incredible sweetness.



Wheels within wheels, the wheels have come off. No. Wagon Wheels, rolling into your mouth, Western-style, lassoo one quick.

Chocs away, back in a bic

x

BiscuitBuild 2011

Today was a momentous occasion as BiscuitBuild descended on our humble Biscuit House. Some of the greastest biscuit architects from around the world spent the day carefully completing structures of a complexity not seen since Song Dong's 2006 metropolis at Selfridges http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/4732886.stm

The structures were completed in around an hour and utilized the most modern building techniques: icing sugar mortar applied with teaspoons, the crack-and-build method, and super strong sprinkles between joints. Building materials were sourced from a range of local shops and included the following: coconut rings, shortcakes, animal biscuits, chocolate fingers, bourbons, squashed fly biscuits, rich tea fingers, rich teas, pink wafers, jam rings and mini digestives.

The construction of the biscopolis at its various stages is pictured below.  

Mortar work underway.

Social housing complete with solar panels.

The RoundHaus Biscuit Arts Centre, set to host fringe theatre, live music and the famed Biscotti Circus.

Ode to the Acropolis, a Grecian masterpiece planned 3 years in advance of BiscuitBuild.

BicT Tower, communications hub for the city and future host of The Crumb network.

Renewables in action. Wind turbines built to fit a colourful urban landscape while maintaining smooth lines.

Conservation pen or zoo of the future. Animals of all species live side by side in harmony.

The sky's the limit and this city never sleeps.

High-speed rail network to Bichester, gateway to progress or ruinous boon to the rail companies?

And to end this report on BiscuitBuild, I would like to reflect on all that has been achieved by these architectural pioneers: the world really is built on biscuits.

Building a biscuit-opolis, 1 biscuit at a time

This is the first post of the week, and its jam-packed with biscuit related news, you'll be please to here. Us Biscuiteers have been crunching on a few new discoveries as well as some old friends.

Let's snap on.

We had a Fox's riot today, when some sandwich fingers appeared next to our kettle on returning from lunch. There was a new take on granny's favourite rich tea, delightfully pimped-up with a layer of cream. They are a delight to behold and have some obvious affinity with real fingers. If only our fingers were really made of such delicious stuff!

Guess what! Granny has an Austrian sister in chocolate Viennese garb, she also has vanilla cream, but likes music more than tea. These tasted good too, and as you can see, fit perfectly in their try bed.

And so to another European friend Jezyki from Poland. These guys had so much packed in, nuts fruit choclate biscuit caramel, even hedgehog according to the packet.  Anyway, they were worth a flutter and can be found in your local supermarket or polski sklep.

And to finish this half-week marathon, we'll go mini. Cookies and shorties are so tasties.

End.

***** tomorow BiscuitBuild comes to London.

Stay sweet y'all

x

Bistopia vs dystopia

I put it to you sweet readers, that your life can be measured in biscuit bites of time. Frantic day to frantic day, we move from one place to the next barely acknowledging our surroundings and never savouring life's most excellent offerings. 

Such is the mood of Biscuit House, we are awash with biscuits and happenings of monumental precedence, yet time crumbles through the hour glass as we sit and wait for what is next. And so, the packets have come and been consumed and their houses tumbled into the recycling or the bin, while we chew up what was baked with care, once, long ago. 

Fig rolls, they're not biscuits but they are of the Holy land and figs they contain, which are good for your digestion, much like digestives wish they could be.

Oooo Mikado, how queer. Pretzels enrobed in chocolate. That couldn't possibly work??
As the doucumentary evidence below shows, they are very moreish and endlessly gobbleable in three or less bites. So quick to eat, so light to carry, so forgettable. Believe.

Whole Mikado.        

Beheaded Mikado.    

Packet of Mikados for one's snack pocket.

Now for some daily controversy, of the sort sought out by ABC news when they interviewed my friend (a staunch republican) South of the river, about the Royal wedding and Britannia's building excitement, which he swiftly bulldozed in a 30-minute rant.

So negro biscuits a la Turkey, hard to come by and only to be found round the back of dodgy corner shops. They look like Oreos but smell like dog biscuits. We didn't like them, they're kept as a top-draw snack and will probably be most favoured/flavoured by dogs.

Three's a crowd.

Lattice is massive in Turkey. 

The real deal. Oreo. Lacks controversy but never fails to leave you with black bits in your grill.

 Farewell Biscuiteers, may you muse and mumble over some biscuit crumb-le.
xx

Long time, no biccies

So its been a while, a long while. Biscuits have been ever-present on our horizon - a Biscuiteering friend even passed the Taj Mahal of biscuit production on Sunday, the McVitie's Factory. Lets just say they also have biscuit domes aplenty...so thanks for this picture BoBics.

Back to the tough buisness of biscuit crunching. At the weekend, I found an epic selection of biscuit creams down the labyrinthine aisles of a well-stocked shop, including the Digestive variety. Digestive creams?! Yes! 

They were, as there packaging suggests Best-In QUALITY, which was quite low. I like that they have a Spanish crusader-style emblem imprinted on them. This suggests reverence to the eater. But realistically, if any crusaders had had to survive and fight on these, they'd definitely end up getting slaughtered, digestive creams stamped and crumbling all over the place. Oh Inglorious Creams.

More biscuit-baiting later for you office slavers.

Ginger-ography

Ello ello,

Just a snappy post dedicated to that flavoursome root, ginger - boldly baked in a biscuit body.

mmmm so ginger snaps, a staple to many, an eccenticity to others. My wise dad loves these and so we thought they were worth a nibble. The below from our local Sainers, were nice enough. They didn't lack on ginger bite, and were certainly snappy enough for the our well-worn jaws.Ok, they were ok, but lacked that specialness we at Biscuit House search for day-in-day-out. We demand better.

Billy's Farm and its organic Ginger and Walnoot offerings didn't fair much better. They had a sort of crumbly paper texture, not unpleasant, but were sugarless and hence not very tasty. If you're after a healthy biscuit, which tastes of next to nothing, these are for you.

Alas, a disappointing day. Tomorrow Biscuit House goes on tour to another office land. What nuts await us there, Biscuiteers?

Sadly miss-cuited yesterday

There was no post yesterday biscuiteers. Of course, this left a void in all our lives but we had to let pancakes have their day. But nevermind, today biscuits reign again, crumbs belated bestowed on all our shoulders.

So continuing this regal bent, we turn to Bourbons. 

Oh bastions of the benign office day! Chocolate in outward garb but distantly distinct with a taste all of their own making. Let us look further at the history of this biscuit ruler.

Wikipedia tells us:

The Bourbon was introduced in 1910 (originally under the name Creola) by the Bermondsey biscuit company Peek Freans, of London, originator of the Garibaldi biscuit.^[1][2] It is apparently named after the House of Bourbon, an aristocratic French and Spanish family. The Palais Bourbon is the seat of the French Parliament (in the same way that the Palace of Westminster houses the UK Parliament).

So the great Peek Freans gave us this sweet suitor as well as the famous Garibaldi, or fly biscuit, as Biccix likes to call them. Bless their Bermondsey baking mitts.

Everytime I bite through a Bourbon biscuit I hope to respectfully remember the swift fall of the guillotine on those poor French aristo heads, crumbly crumb.



Onwards and upwards friends -  the afternoon was sweetened by the delectable presence of the below cherry chocolate creams. These I would highly reccomend as an exotic outing from their strawberry brothers eaten at Biscuit House last week passed. Damn good show Fox's!

And so to the climax of this busy day. But one thing to remember, when arranging biscuits upon a plate, always do so with a light and free hand. None of this regimented lines stuff Biccix.

Cheerio biscuit brothers and sisters